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The Enneagram for Forgiveness: Letting Go of Resentment and Moving Forward

INFP Annoyances (Manipulation, Bullying, and a Disregard for Values)

Text overlay on a thought bubble with frowning face. Text reads "INFP struggles: Manipulation, Bullying, Disregarded Values."


What's the quickest way to upset an INFP? Engage in manipulative tactics, dismiss their deeply-held values, or intimidate others around them! These behaviors disrupt the INFP's harmonious inner world, which is a delicate balance of dreams, feelings, and ideas.


INFPs are idealistic and creative individuals who prioritize authenticity, empathy, and personal values. This can sometimes put them at odds with the people around them.


Controlling Behavior

The INFP's auxiliary cognitive function, Extroverted Intuition (Ne), fuels their desire to explore possibilities and think outside the box. INFPs are independent thinkers who appreciate autonomy and creative freedom, so it suffocates their spirit when they are being controlled or micromanaged.


This situation can often arise in the workplace, particularly when the INFP is working under ISTJ or ESTJ leaders, whose attention to detail and high standards can cause them to check in on the intricate aspects of their team's work. However, triggering this INFP Annoyances can seriously impact their motivation and productivity, and it may take them some time to get back into their flow. You need to trust their competence and give them room to grow.


Bullying and Intimidation

INFPs are empathetic individuals who detest any form of aggression or intimidation. They are deeply affected by bullying, both as a victim and as a witness, and they will do everything in their power to protect others from such behavior. When confronted with bullying, INFPs may retreat into themselves or become anxious and distressed.


To remedy this situation, be sure to stand up against bullying whenever you encounter it. Offer support and understanding to the INFP and any other victims, and work together to create a safe and inclusive environment. This will demonstrate your commitment to maintaining a harmonious and caring atmosphere.


Disrespecting Values

An INFP's dominant cognitive function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), serves as the foundation of their value system, guiding them through the storms of life. To disrespect or disregard their values is to challenge their very identity, and this is what annoys INFPs the most. They seek harmony and understanding, and they're deeply affected when others behave in a way that goes against their principles.


To avoid this pet peeve, take the time to understand and appreciate your INFP's beliefs, which are rooted in their strong Fi. Try to respect them, even if you don't always agree with them. Recognize when their introverted feelings are coming into play, and avoid taking a dismissive or judgmental attitude towards what they're telling you.


Superficial Chit Chat

Imagine an INFP cornered at a party, desperately trying to escape the clutches of a relentless small talker. This is one of their biggest Annoyances in a person. INFPs crave deep, meaningful connections and conversations, so trivial chit-chat feels like a waste of their precious time.


How to make amends after triggering this annoyance? Give them space to recharge and then engage them in a conversation that genuinely interests them. This will show that you value their intellect and emotional depth.


Manipulation Tactics

For an INFP, dealing with manipulative behavior is like walking through a field of psychological landmines. They value sincerity and authenticity, and being subjected to manipulation makes them feel used and betrayed. INFPs are sensitive souls, and they can easily sense when someone is trying to influence them through deceit or emotional coercion.


To make amends after engaging in this behavior, offer a genuine apology and reassure the INFP that you will be more transparent in the future. Strive to be honest and direct in your communication with them, demonstrating that you respect their emotional boundaries and are committed to fostering a relationship based on trust.


Unethical Behavior

INFPs are deeply principled and maintain a strong moral compass. They are disturbed and disillusioned by unethical behavior, whether it's dishonesty, cheating, or exploiting others for personal gain. Witnessing or being subjected to such actions can deeply shake their faith in humanity and leave them feeling disheartened and disoriented.


To counteract this pet peeve, make a conscious effort to uphold ethical standards in your dealings with the INFP and others. Acknowledge any lapses in judgment and take steps to rectify them, showing the INFP that you are committed to making amends and acting with integrity moving forward.


Hypocrisy

Few things irritate an INFP more than hypocrisy. They value authenticity and consistency in both their own actions and those of others. When someone acts hypocritically, it not only undermines the trust that INFPs place in that person but also makes them question the sincerity of their beliefs and values.


To avoid triggering this pet peeve, strive to be genuine and congruent in your words and actions. If you notice inconsistencies in your behavior, take responsibility and work on aligning your actions with your beliefs. This will demonstrate to the INFP that you value their trust and respect their moral compass.


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