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The Enneagram for Forgiveness: Letting Go of Resentment and Moving Forward

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Assertive vs. Accommodating

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Speak your mind or seek harmony? Explore the assertive vs. accommodating personality styles.

  • Assertive Style (Competing, Dominating): This style prioritizes getting their needs met and winning the argument.

    • Types who might lean towards this style: ESTJ (Extraverted Thinking, Introverted Sensing), ENTJ (Extraverted Thinking, Introverted Intuition), ISTP (Introverted Thinking, Extraverted Sensing). These types value logic, efficiency, and achieving their goals, and might advocate strongly for their position in a conflict.

  • Accommodating Style (Avoiding, Obliging): This style prioritizes maintaining harmony and avoiding confrontation.

    • Types who might lean towards this style: ISFJ (Introverted Sensing, Extraverted Feeling), ESFJ (Extraverted Feeling, Introverted Sensing), INFP (Introverted Feeling, Introverted Intuition). These types value cooperation, social harmony, and respecting others' feelings, and might prioritize finding common ground or smoothing things over in a conflict.

Additional Conflict Resolution Styles:

  • Compromising: This style involves finding a middle ground that partially satisfies both parties. Types who value objectivity and fairness, like INTP (Introverted Thinking, Introverted Intuition) or ENTP (Extraverted Intuition, Introverted Thinking), might favor this approach.
  • Collaborating: This style focuses on working together to find a solution that addresses everyone's needs. Types who excel at understanding different perspectives, like INFJ (Introverted Intuition, Extraverted Feeling) or ENFJ (Extraverted Feeling, Introverted Intuition), might gravitate towards this approach.

Remember: these are tendencies, not absolutes.

  • Individuals can develop their conflict resolution skills and learn to adapt their style based on the situation.
  • The best approach often depends on the type of conflict and the people involved.

Here's how MBTI can further inform conflict resolution:

  • Understanding Triggers: Knowing what stresses each type (e.g., inefficiency for ESTJs, criticism for ISFJs) can help avoid triggering conflict.
  • Tailored Communication: Adjusting your communication style to each type's preferences (e.g., directness for ESTJs, empathy for ISFJs) can facilitate better understanding.
  • Focusing on Common Goals: Identifying shared objectives can help move the focus from individual needs to collaborative solutions.

By understanding MBTI preferences and conflict resolution styles, we can approach disagreements with more empathy and find solutions that work for everyone involved.

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